That Girl: to the person I was before

That girl is a stranger to me now.

She is comfortable.

She lives in a bubble with those who look like her, they think like her, they are apart of her being.

She is careless.

She does not examine the belief systems that were handed down to her from infancy. She holds tight to a doctrine that represses those she claims she wants to help.

She is broken.

Held loosely together by fragile strings of numbness. If she doesn't think about it, it didn’t happen. She seems to think that strength is painting on a fake smile to make those around her comfortable and unthreatened.

That girl was brave.

Brave enough to question her own doctrine after clinging to it for 22 years. To face a reality that she is not like those she had stood by. She did not think like them anymore. She chose the risk of losing everything she knows to find her voice, to find out that what she believed to be unconditional love was actually a beast in disguise.

That girl was me.

When I see her smiling face in photos I do not recognize that person but I hold appreciation for the moments in life that she brought us through. I wish I could speak with her and tell her about how much healing and growth we go through in only a matter of years but she would not be ready.

That girl commenced our journey to ourselves, I will always love her for that.