Ocean of Expectations…
She wasn’t there intentionally.
In fact most of her life had been unintentional.
She did as she was told, she trusted those around her.
The path to fulfillment was laid out in front of her since she was born.
When she was a good wife, when she was a good Mother and a good Christian woman life would be good.
She followed the rules, she covered up.
Then there she was suddenly alone in her living room with a baby in her arms. Her baby. She felt protective over this little being but the guilt of feeling unfulfilled seemed to lay over her like a heavy blanket.
Wasn’t this what she was made to do?
She imagined herself standing at the edge of the world an ocean rolling in front of her. She wished she could be in a place like that all alone and at peace, so far away from the demands around her.
The cry of the baby brought her back to her reality.
The reality that she had never made a single decision for herself in the twenty three years she had been alive.
She could already see herself in forty years. A bitter depressed woman who never took risks, or pursued the parts of herself that seemed to go against everything she was taught.
She looked into the innocent eyes of her daughter gleaming back at her. Her heart hammered.
She could not be that old woman. She had to disappoint everyone around her. Not only for her child but for herself.
She couldn’t let herself drown in an ocean of expectations. She would build herself a boat for her and her child. She would point it in the direction of her freedom
